The Twisted Minds of Sakura and Ino
by Ava Addemdum
Summary: Ino and Sakura are one of those girls who decide on strange things. In order to make sure no one else gets Sasuke, they decided to put a holy mission into action. (implies yaoi and insanity.One-shot)


D i s c l a i m e r : One day, I'll do something really daring and not write a disclaimer...you just wait man, you just wait...llb

W a r n i n g : This produce may contain traces of randomness, InoSakura bashing, and yaoi. If you have a deadly allergy for these ingredients, please do not open the packet, and return it to the super-market near you.

**T**wisted

**H ** Minds

**E ** Of

Sakura 

and 

Ino

Life in Konoha is really no different to ours. Maybe minus all the missions, weapon handling and assassinations and so forth. There, the same basic principles for men also apply—"men are like toilets; they're either occupied or full of shit." Or that "good looking men are either taken or gay."

Naturally, those that differs with the said concept, becomes female magnets. Through sheer bad luck, or good fortune, depending on your point of view, Uchiha Sasuke was one of them.

It was safe to say that 99.9 of the females under 25 liked him. Yes, everyone liked the only heir of the Uchiha Clan.

When ever they had time, they would go and spy on him. Every time he was at their presence they would giggle like mad. When ever there was an empty seat beside him, the girls battled it out to see who gets the final glory. The list goes on. And who can forget the incident, where an innocent, unsuspecting female tourist asked for directions from the famous boy then was later waylaid by a bunch of love driven chicks, who were trying to protect their idol's endangered bachelorhood.

The wanted boy was either very dense when it comes to this subject, or that he simply chose to ignore the matter. Because he was yet to pick a girl he liked from his mob of fans.

So the girls agreed on one thing.

Uchiha Sasuke was off limits.

That was the unspoken secret in the women's society within Konoha.

Girls are strange creatures. They'd rather the guy they fancy to be gay than seeing him ended up in some other girl's hands.

That was exactly what Sakura and Ino did.

It all started on one fine morning, where the two friends/enemies were fighting, somewhere in the training grounds, ("having a heated conversation" as they so hotly put it) about the usual subject on which one of them Sasuke-kun would prefer. Insults and comparisons, somewhere along the lines of "my hair is longer than yours, big-fore headed," and "at least I've spoke more than 27 words to him, Ino-pig," were thrown at each other. Not long after the two girls ran out of decent insults, did they start going at each other's hair.

After Ino jerked a handful of Sakura's pink hair loose (followed by being on the receiving end of a well-aimed stomp) the blond girl was hit by a sudden simulation.

"You know Sakura, it is obvious that you're not good enough for Sasuke-kun," Ino let go of her struggling friend, sticking her nose into the air.

"That goes for you as well," the other snapped back, rubbing a bald patch in hair.

"Like I was saying, before some rude, unclassy bitch interrupted, Sasuke-kun is too good for any of us."

"She said, just because she ran out of ways to get him..." Sakura smirked.

With a glare that could have stunned a cat on heroin, Ino continued, "Since either of us can have him, why don't we pair him up with Naruto?"

"Yes, I can definitely see how that's going to work out," the pink hair girl did a mock gesture of musing. "And just out of interest, did you take your pills today, Ino?"

"No, listen," she waved her off, ignoring the last comment. "It's a good deal, if you and I can't have him, no one else can, right? And anyway, even though the girls all made an oath that no one is to even touch him, I don't trust that promise, and don't tell me that you do."

Sakura bit back her remark and actually consider this for a while, "you know... this could actually work..."

Looking smug, Ino jumped with excitement, with her iron pony tail swishing all over the place. Sakura had to stop her before she did damage to some poor innocent wildlife.

"So...Any idea how we're going to achieve this without ending up being another victim of Sasuke-kun's revenge?"

"This, Sakura-chan, is where you need to work on" Ino tisk-ed, dirty mind wheeling. One could almost hear the wheel gears clicking. "I had it all planned out. We will sneak into Sasuke's room at night, knock him out, or you can spike his drink if you want to...if you have the confidence. Then we chain him on the bed, naked, and lure Naruto in!" She said that all in one breathe.

"If we put aside the fact that Sasuke is better than us in all aspect of being a shinobi. That he could probably break the chain if he wanted to, and that it'll take some godly miracles to knock him out in the first place. Yeah, I think that's a brilliant idea. So, when do you think we should start?" Sakura's green eyes sparkled with anticipation.

"We will put this will-be-legendary mission into action tonight!" Her friend announced, pointing her arms towards the sky, as if waiting for the great thunder of gospel and truth to strike.

Somewhere behind the bush, located in the training grounds, Naruto and Sasuke hunched, shoulders shaking.

Naruto stuffed a fist into his mouth, preventing himself from laughing aloud. Sasuke nudged him, mouthing 'shut up'.

The blonde kitsune was allowed to release himself by rolling on the ground with laughter when the girls finally decided to leave.

Sasuke chuckled behind his long fringe, "well, that was interesting to say the least."

"No kidding. I had a plan for us tonight, but I guess I just have to sacrifice myself to play along with them," Naruto sat up, mischief grinning in his blue eyes.

Sasuke eyed him warily, with a look of 'what-sick-shit-were-you-thinking-anyway' plastered on his face. Reading the expression, Naruto snaked a arm around his thin waist, unfazed by the fact that he was struggling against his grip, "Oh, don't worry, it wasn't that bad," the struggling stopped, "after all, bondage is always much more fun."

A u r t h o r e s s ' s d r a b b l e:

Well that's that. Sorry if it didn't make any sense. I was desperate from disappearing for so long.

Constructive criticisms are welcome. Flames will be categorised into the box of stupidity.


End file.
